


A Knock at the Door

by the_sinnamon_roll_writes



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: I know very little about the military I did my best, M/M, Sad but with a happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2019-06-24 13:21:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15631500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_sinnamon_roll_writes/pseuds/the_sinnamon_roll_writes
Summary: Ludwig gets called to action.





	A Knock at the Door

They were cleaning breakfast dishes when they received the call. Feliciano was singing softly in Italian with his arms elbow deep in soapy water, while Ludwig was hard at work scrubbing away the oil and grime and crumbs that covered the stove top and surrounding counters. He had a content smile on his face as he listened to Feli sing, and he was strongly tempted to ignore the telephone when it rang. However, It was not in Ludwig’s nature to disregard such things, and eventually he set his rag down and went off to answer the phone. Feliciano paused in his dishwashing for a moment before deciding to follow, curious as to who was calling.

“Hello? Yes, this is him. May I ask- oh. Yes. Yes, I understand. Of course. Yes, I was given prior notification of the possibility. Yes sir. Goodbye.” Ludwig hung up the phone with a slightly troubled look on his face. As he made to return to the kitchen, he caught sight of Feliciano and jumped, having not noticed him enter the room. “Feli! I didn’t- did you hear any of that?”

Feliciano nodded, a puzzled look on his face. “I think I heard all of it, but there wasn’t much to go on. Who was it?”

It was a moment before Ludwig answered as he struggled to find the right words. “I- it was Josef Dieter. He-”

“Isn’t he one of your army friends? How is he?” Either Feliciano was oblivious to Ludwig’s distress or he was trying very hard to dance around it. “Are you going to have another one of those… What were they called? Those fancy breakfasts? If you are could I-”

“Feliciano,” Ludwig cut in, voice firm. “I’ve been called in for service.”

There was another pause, this one longer than the first. Feliciano seemed to process the news slowly. He stared at Ludwig as though hoping the other man would suddenly laugh and shake the whole thing off as a joke. When that didn’t happen, he averted his gaze to the floor, worried that he might cry if he looked at him any longer.

“When?” The question came out as a whisper.

“I’ll be leaving next month.”

“… How long?” The second question was quieter than the first, barely audible as though he didn’t really want to know the answer.

Ludwig’s face was somber, hating to see Feliciano in such a state. He took three steps, closing the gap between himself and the Italian and pulling the smaller man into a tight hug. Gently rubbing his back, he pressed his lips down onto the top of Feliciano’s head.

“I don’t know.”

•••

The night before Ludwig was scheduled to leave, the pair didn’t eat any dinner. They didn’t watch any television, or play any games, or read any books. They simply sat together, Feliciano in Ludwig’s lap with his chest pressed closely to the others. Their arms were wrapped around each other, and Feliciano’s forehead was cradled in the curve of Ludwig’s neck. Every now and then one would murmur some soft words of assurance or love, or Feliciano would tear up and have to choke back a sob, but most of the night passed in silence. The smaller man was determined to remain awake, as though he thought the night would last forever if he simply didn’t give in. But by midnight, the two had fallen asleep, wrapped together.

When Feliciano awoke, Ludwig was gone.

•••

The first few weeks Ludwig attempted to send letters regularly in an attempt to keep Feliciano’s mind free of worry. In all these letter he attempted to convey how much he loved and missed the Italian, and how confident he was about the mission. He tried avoiding Feli’s questions on when he would be home for as long as he could until it became such an insistent question that he was forced to tell him that it could be several months, maybe even a year until he could return. After he had been briefed and thoroughly trained of his mission, time for writing dwindled from large chunks of time to short minutes, and then disappeared entirely. Ludwig was left with only hope that Feliciano would find some sort of solace in the written words that he had.

•••

The only sounds that could be heard over the wailing of the sirens was the shouts of guards shouting and guns being fired haphazardly. They had infiltrated an enemy base 7 months earlier, before someone in Ludwig’s team had inadvertently tipped off the targets they were meant to be gathering intelligence on. The four undercover men were doing their best to remain hidden while working their way out of the fortress, but as more and more security guards seemed to pour in, it became quickly apparent that it would be a miracle if any of them were to make it out alive.

“I have an idea.”

The other three focused their attention on to Ludwig, desperate to try almost anything to escape.

“I’ll create a distraction. You three get out.” Despite his strong, self-assured voice, Ludwig’s face was twisted in fear.

His suggestion was met with immediate protests. “We should stick together-”

“We can find another way out of this, we can all go home to our families-”

“We won’t let you do that to yourself-”

“You will let me do this. The information we have needs to get back to the brigadier general, and word needs to be passed on that we were exposed. We are dealing with a hostile force, there is no way the four of us will get out with all the guards on high alert. I will run to the power room and shut the building down. When I begin running, I will hopefully draw the guards toward myself. The minute I leave, you three get to the exit. I will do my best to rendezvous with you back at base.” Ludwig’s voice cut across the objections, his tone leaving no room for discussion. The men looked around at each other apprehensively, clearly hoping one of the others would come up with a different idea. “Get ready then.”

Ludwig strode to the door the quartet had hidden behind. Before he wrapped his hand around the knob, one of the other men in his squad placed a hand on his shoulder and turned him to face them once more. “Ludwig. You come back to us, ya hear?”

The German allowed himself a small smile. “I’ll do my best. If I- if something happens, can you tell my husband… Tell him I love him. And that I’m sorry.”

“I hope it won’t come to that Lud, but if it does, I will.”

“Thank you Alfred.” His face grew grave once again. Steeling himself, he turned toward the door again. His heart was pounding, and he would probably have fainted if not for his determination to keep his fellow soldiers alive. Taking one last deep breath, Ludwig turned the knob and threw the door open.

And then he ran.

•••

Feliciano was cleaning his dishes when the knock at the door came. He had worked very hard to keep the house clean for Ludwig when he came home. He no longer sang while he worked, in fact he refused to even hum a tune. Life had seemed to have lost its zest. While Ludwig was around him, it was though the world was bright and full of color and wonder. Once he had left, Feliciano hardly had the enthusiasm to eat, let alone pursue any of his hobbies. Paintings remained half finished, lute strings left snapped and unattended, letters abandoned hopelessly.  
He was almost tempted to ignore the doorbell, scared of what news it might bring. However, he knew that no matter how bad the news was, he would have to face it eventually. Screwing up his courage, he made his way out of the kitchen and answered the door. Standing there in a crisp army uniform was Alfred. Feliciano knew him from the few times the man had stopped by to socialize with Ludwig.

“Feliciano?” Alfred looked uneasy, bouncing on his heels and playing anxiously with his hands. Feliciano chose to stare at the hands rather than Alfred’s face, as though one look into the blonds eyes would suddenly collapse the world he had been clinging to so tightly for so long. “Feliciano, I’m so sorry. We- Ludwig saved us. Me, Arthur and Francis, he sacrificed himself to make sure we stayed alive. He was so brave Feliciano, he was a hero. I tried to get permission to get a team together and go back for him but they told me we couldn’t risk the men just to get a body- I mean Ludwig! They sad we couldn’t risk everything for one man. We waited a month to tell you, we’re hoping he’ll make it out, but he might not and- Feliciano?”

Feli had stopped listening after ‘sacrificed’. Ludwig was gone. His world of color was painted grey. He found himself feeling short of breath, and tears began to slip from his eyes onto the floor. ‘I have to wipe that up,’ he thought, ‘Ludwig hates drops on the hardwood.’

“Feliciano, I’m so sorry. We all tried to stop him. There was no other way.” Alfred’s face was helpless, unaware of how to comfort the smaller man.

Sniffing loudly, Feliciano tried to wipe his tears and finally met Alfred’s eyes. “Thank you for telling me yourself. Ludwig always liked you. Do you want to come in and have a drink?”

Alfred nodded, too worried about Feli’s mental state to leave him alone just yet. “Do you have any coffee?”

“I can make some.”

The two passed the time quietly swapping fond stories of Ludwig. Feliciano recounted the tale when he and Ludwig had spent a month traveling to different countries and sightseeing. Alfred told about the time when he and Ludwig had tricked Arthur and Francis into skinny dipping together. Hours passed before the stream of stories began to ebb. It was dark outside when Alfred finally checked his watch.

“Well… I should probably be going. Are you going to be okay?” When Feliciano didn’t answer, Alfred let out a soft huff of air. “Let me leave you my phone number, you can call me if you need me.” Reaching a hand out he waited for Feliciano to hand him his phone and then entered his number into the device.

“Thank you Alfred. Get home safely!” Feliciano smiled as Alfred waved  
goodbye.

The minute Alfred’s car was out of sight, Feli felt himself start to fall apart. He made his way to the bedroom he used to share with Ludwig and crashed down onto the bed. Without Ludwig it seemed too big, too cold, too empty. He could hardly bring himself to stay there. However, his legs were shaking so badly that he would have had to struggle to stand, let alone walk. His head was spinning. A part of him understood that Ludwig was gone, never to hold Feliciano in his strong arms again, but another part refused to acknowledge the truth, stubbornly ascertaining that as long as there was no body there was still a chance he could be alive. For this reason Feliciano almost wished that there had been a body, just for a moment of peace from his warring brain. But there was no way to silence his mind anymore.

 

•••

The months passed, growing cold, then back to warm again. Feliciano did his best to carry on with his life, but every day was a struggle. Each time he saw a tall blond man in public he would frantically push his way to him until he could make out the face and find only more disappointment. Eventually he stopped going out for any reason besides getting groceries. He found work online which paid just enough to keep him on his feet. He avoided answering the phone when he could, not wanting to deal with any sort of pity. The only person he was interested in talking to was Alfred, and even those discussions were kept short. The more time passed, the more Feliciano felt himself slipping down into the darkness of depression.

•••

Feliciano was cleaning the breakfast dishes when he heard the knock. It was nearly a year and a half after Alfred had come knocking with his horrible news. This time, Feli had no intention of answering the door. The only thing he could imagine knocking at the door was more bad news.

The knocking continued.

Feliciano ignored it.

The knocking continued.

Feliciano ignored it.

The knocking continued.

Feliciano sighed. Drying his hands on his pants, he strode to the door, fully prepared to give whoever was knocking a piece of his mind. It took him a few tries to successful open the door as his hands were still slightly slippery from the soap residue. Finally, he managed to throw the door open, mouth wide open and ready to shout.

His hands dropped to his sides, his shoulders seemed to droop, and he swayed on his feet.

Standing there in the doorway, rugged and injured, was Ludwig.

Eyes filling with tears, Feliciano reached out tentatively to brush his fingers against Ludwig’s chest. “Is this real?” His voiced wavered.

Wordlessly, Ludwig nodded. There was a sharp intake of breath, and then Feliciano launched himself onto the taller man, completely ignoring the cast on his arm and wrappings around various other parts of his body. Unfortunately, Ludwig had lost much of his muscle mass and the pair tumbled to the ground, the German crying out when they landed. Feliciano clung to Ludwig’s neck, not wanting to get up, not wanting to go inside, not wanting to do anything besides sit there and breathe him in. Ludwig wrapped his good arm around Feli’s back, clutching him close. They remained like that for a solid five minutes before Ludwig’s discomfort finally became too much for him. “Feli… Let’s go inside.”

Feliciano jumped up, then immediately helped to pull Ludwig to his feet and dragged him inside to push him into the couch. The small man set about making coffee and putting together some toast and scrambled eggs for him. Once he finished the meal, he rushed it out to the living room where Ludwig sat with his head tipped back and his eyes closed. “Ludwig…” Feliciano made his way over, hands shaking enough that coffee sloshed over the edge of the cup.

“You’ve kept the house clean.” Ludwig looked slightly puzzled as he took in the room around him. “You hate cleaning.” It was as though he couldn’t comprehend Feliciano keeping the house clean enough to match his own standards.

Feliciano sat the meal down on their coffee table as the tears finally started to flow. “I wanted to make sure it was clean for you when you came home.” He collapsed to his knees in front of Ludwig and buried his face in the other man’s lap, clutching onto his calves. “I thought you were gone Ludwig.”

Ludwig stared down at him for a moment before gently running a comforting hand through his hair. He then carefully pulled his legs from Feli’s grasp and slid down to join him on the floor. Cradling Feliciano’s face in his hands, Ludwig placed a chaste kiss on his forehead. “I’m not gone. And I’m going to stay here with you. Always.”

The two remained on the floor, touching a feeling each other until eventually they were tangled together warmly, Feli’s legs over Ludwig’s lap and his arms around his shoulders, Ludwig’s good arm around the small of Feli’s back, face pressed into his neck. They spoke very little, only enough to communicate briefly what had happened in the others absence. Eventually they lapsed into complete silence, neither wanting to move or break their connection. And so they stayed like that, neither bringing up food or drink or needing to stretch or using the bathroom. It seemed they would have been content to hang on to each other forever. And so they remained, all day and into the night until they fell asleep together. This time, Feliciano wasn’t afraid to sleep.

He knew Ludwig would be with him when he awoke.


End file.
